At peace

This is the nicest photo taken of my mother - I found it in her cousin's album the last time we visited her and I asked to borrow it now. My mother's burial was yesterday. It's strange, both my parents were born in November, but both chose to leave during really hot periods (well, perhaps the heat was part of the reason...), my father at the beginning of August 2002 and my mother in mid-July. And both had really hot burial days. We picked her body up at the ward and followed the hearse (? the car with the coffin) to Jeppo, stopping at our house for a while before continuing to the church. The memorial service was held afterwards at home, I wanted it to be personal and feel the comfort of my own home, which of course also was her home. I had also invited a relative with younger children and D had someone to play with. Here at home nothing was planned and was more relaxed, but I felt it was about my mother, people who cared for her and knew her, were together, the service in the church was more about religion in general, not my mother.

Today I took D to his father and have finally had time for myself. On the way home I went for a swim and have just enjoyed being able to light candles and lie on the sofa, remembering things. Unfortunately there is thunder threatening all the time, so I think I'll have to switch off the computer soon again (one thunderstorm already passed a few hours ago...).

Tomorrow I'll drive to Pietarsaari,, to the sea, to spend three days at qigongcamp. It'll be lovely to be able to relax and let it all sink in, and to also fill up with energy and also start thinking about the future.
Last night D said: "I want to die".  Not something you want to hear from you five-year-old, so I asked why? He then said: so I can be with grandma again.

 My mother is at peace, and so am I. I'm certain she'll come to visit us in our dreams.