R.I.P. Lilla My?

Right now I'm sad and tired - despite my efforts to create a life filled with life, death visits us far too often. For the third summer in a row, an animal dear to me dies. This time it was my fault - I should've made the rabbits' exercise-pen more "escape-secure", and I shouldn't have forgotten to lock them into their cage in the evening. But I did, already in bed I remembered, and then it was too late, the rabbits had disappeared (probably jumped over the fence, where it was a bit lower). They were on the run for two nights. I saw Lilla My during the first day - in the morning I was five centimeters from catching her. In the late afternoon I didn't have time to start chasing her - and that was the last I saw of her. The next morning our neighbors had caught Doris, but Lilla My hasn't been seen since. Doris was in bad shape - all swollen up around her neck. I suspect wasps, since it went down after a day. I did call the vet, but it was late in the day, and I had just gotten a visit from a dear friend who lives in Denmark - I didn't want to start taking her to a vet far away. But the one I talked to recommended pineappple juice, when I asked if there wasn't any herb or thing I could give her. I don't know if it was the pineapple or what, but now the swelling is almost gone - one of her eyes looks a bit strange, though. Like she has developed a cataract (? starr?) over night.

It's been three days now since I say My, two days ago I saw the black Tomcat, which seems to live in our barn, in our yard. I'm sure he's killed her, otherwise she would've come to see her sister. I don't think Fia has touched her - she has had the opportunity before, and not taken it. Once she jumped into their pen and they sniffed each other and were all calm and friendly. Fia really looked like she understood they were family. The worst part is that I don't know for sure what happened to her.

I lay awake last night thinking about what to do. I had read on the internet that a rabbit really needs a companion and my aim has been to have happy rabbits....who get exercise and have space and possibility to do "rabbit-things", like dig in the dirt. Seems to have been very naive, since they probably would've started digging themselves out next. But I can't stand seeing a sad and depressed little creature locked into a small cage - not when the animal is in my care . But right now I'm not sure I have the energy to find a new one, and then "train" them to get along.Doris' other sisters have already been sold, it won't be so easy to put two strangers together. On the other hand, there is not much choice. I was thinking about giving her away, but on the other hand I've enjoyed having more animals at home, even if I'm fed up with them taking advantage of my efforts to give them freedom... And even if D didn't spend much time with them, he doesn't want me to give Doris away.

So (sigh) - does anyone have a friendly female rabbit to give away (have already spent a fair bit of money on them, wouldn't like to pay much anymore....)? Or know of anyone who has? Pls get in touch in that case!

testar...

bli inte skrämda över förändringar, testar googles nya mallar - tror inte jag ännu beslutat mig för denna, men den får stå tillsvidare. I dag målar och städar jag, känns oändligt med projekt "få ett välfungerande, snyggt och rent hus".

Förresten - någon som vet hur man får fotona större i inläggen?

Pekka

Yesterday my mother had some xrays of her intestines made in Vaasa. At the parkinglot there we also met with our newest familymember - Pekka, who had arrived all the way from Närpiö, which is one hour south of Vaasa, and we are one hour northeast of Vaasa.

Pekka didn't like to sit in his box. I couldn't stand his crying, so I lifted him out and it took some time before he found the safest place in the car :). He really is adorable - we have all fallen in love with him - except for Fia. Pekka is a tough little fellow, but really friendly and calm as well. D is a bit too rough with him still, so I need to stay close by, but right now he is sleeping next to D. Probably until Fia comes...I don't think she'll tolerate him in our bedroom yet, unfortunately. But I really think they'll become best friends and Pekka will help me "babysit" - that is, keep D company, while I do my chores. He's been saying he wants a baby - now he got one :).

I bought a new refrigerator this week and have been reorganising in the kitchen. Today we went swimming - our summer is really amazing, I haven't swam this much in years. Unfortunately the water in the sandpit is a bit greenish...we also visited a field filled with butterflies. I've had some bad days this week, it's been hard to get going and everything I've tried to do, has been difficult due to problems. But when I look at these photos it feels good - and after a lot of looking and wondering, I finally remembered where I had used a shelf I needed in the kitchen.

Note to self: find something every day to break the "have to do this, and that, and how will I have time for that and that...". A nice friend offered to have D for a while so I could work in peace and quiet at home (probably after having read on FB that I was a nervous wreck after having written a column and been interrupted by son over and over again...). I mowed the lawn and cleaned the rabbits' cage - and sat and complained to her when I picked him up again. Just then I remembered where I hadn't looked for the shelf :). So maybe I can clear up everything tomorrow and try to get back to somesort of almost-in-control everyday life. My kitchen feels great already - the refrigerator is better situated now, I don't need to run around the whole kitchen table to get something out of it. And I'll have more workingspace, hooray!

Help me choose!

Last week D and I went to a photographer to have our photos taken. I figured there are so few photos of us together, I'd like to have it properly done for once, since I don't have anyone who can take photos of us interacting in everyday situations. I have problems in choosing, maybe you can help me:)- I'd like to know which two you like the best! We went to Anders Wingren, who has a studio called Photomoments. I also had my own photo taken (easier to choose, not so many I liked, looked a bit uncomfortable on my own!) and D on his own. I might ask for your help with them as well, but let's begin with us two together, which I thought were the best photos. If you click on the photo below, it should take you to the album with big pictures!

Day of art and photo

Yesterday was "my day" in the photoclub to take one brilliant photo....easier said than done, but I really tried my best, and had a really good day (needless to say, D was at his dad's..).

Art, music and films have more or less disappeared from my life since D, but I really hope they all could come back, little by li

ttle. Yesterday I noticed how much I had missed taking part in art events - it really is nuturing for the soul - and gave me inspiration to venture out into that field myself.

Ar

tists had their studios open for visitors for three days over the

weekend, so everyone could come and visit. One girl had created installations in some barns (lovely ones, I always admire them when I pass). In the last one you could write a wish - mine also hangs on the wall :) .

Did I get one brilliant photo - no. Before the art-part, I also visited a sailing-competition in Monäs.

Since it was rainy and windy, the conditions weren't the greatest and I didn't notice I had gotten rain on my lens :(. Afterwards I continued to a wonderful beach nearby - Storsand (in Monäs). I used to visit it at least once every summer when I was younger, this summer I would've liked to take D there, but on the hot days there was always something else and after this I think it'll be too cold there, since it's the open sea.

Last week my cousin and his daughter brought me a new (used) computer - they had easy access to them since they both work with computers (my cousin with Nokia). They spent the entire day transferring files and other things, but Photoshop they didn't manage to save for me and I couldn't find the disk I had it on, so now I have to try to learn how to edit my photos in another program - and of course it doesn't work exactly like Photoshop and I'm so frustrated since I don't have the time to learn!!! Grrrrr. So some of the photos here are a bit dark and others I simply don't have the time to do anything about - and the best I have to save in case they will be chosen by the photoclub - those you will see next year :). I had a terrible headache last night - I guess it was the wind that caused it, my head seems to be sensitive to strong wind. But that's also frustrating, since I should've slept as much as possible, since D is away, but instead I was away for many hours waiting for the painkillers to kick in. This summer has really been terrible when it comes to sleep. So many things have kept me awake or awoken me - D (lots and lots of times), tenting..., thunderstorms (we've had a lot of them), trips....

(Have to write now when I have the chance, in a few hours I have to pick up D in Seinäjoki and who knows when I'll have time again....)

I actually found an ad for a job, which would've been perfect for me. Making interviews, writing articles, giving out info - but it included work in the evenings and weekends at times and also a fair bit of travelling. I thought really hard about it, but came to the conclusion that I simply cannot do it. I need to have a calmer year, when I can take properly care of us all three plus the house. I will try to manage with the jobs I have and hopefully my creativity will kick in when it hopefully finally will have a bit of space and time....I'm really prepared to get a loan if I can't managed to scrape together enough with my part time jobs, but I feel I can't cope with lots of pressure and a fully-booked timetable for every day. I can only hope there will be other opportunities in a year or two, when D again is older and I hopefully feel less wound up and overwhelmed.

For a long time I've been wanting to visit a house "Akkatalo" (Hag's house...but I think the name also refers to something ancient, the artist had a lot of references to the Gilgamesh epos). Yesterday I finally did - and fell in love! Now I know where to take friends who visit :) (remember to click again on the collage once you've opened it, to get a better look at each and every photo):