Times flies...I'm always rather busy in March-April, this year is no exception. And my mother has again been in and out of hospital, which always wears me down more. At the moment she has a really bad flu, which she got when she was there over a weekend so I could rest :(. D asked when I was taking her to the doctor: "IS grandma going to die", I could only answer: "I hope not". I visited her today, she is very weak, but getting slightly better again.This time of the year all my main jobs are on - working with the refugees, for local tv and this year I've been quite often working as substitute teacher and had a few translation jobs as well. I was planning to do a lot of writing, but there simply isn't time for it, not my own stuff. Right now I'm in the middle of a project for the town of Pietarsaari, every spring and autumn I write articles for the personnel paper.
I had wanted to take part in a short-story competition, but I never found the time to write, now I have to wait two years again until next time. The problem is - I don't get paid for trying to write fiction or something just therapeutical - digging into painful things in the past. I need to earn money, which means I have to do other things, which means I never have the chance to sit down and try it. It is so frustrating and I'm losing hope that I'll ever get the chance to try - and maybe I'm not even able to, I mean, I might not even have the talent for it. But since I don't have enough peace and quiet in my life, I won't find out either :( :(.And the rabbits keep getting out, I'm going crazy!!! I can't find the hole and now they won't let me catch them. Two are on the run now :( :(.
5 kommentarer:
Hang in there, Ulla. I hope your mom will get strong and be able to be home through the summer. D looks like he is enjoying spring!!
jj
and I wish I had words of wisdom for you. My own thoughts are so busy with what I need to do today and how will i pay for things that need to be fixed and how can I get my first born to be motivated in school....We'll make it though i dont know how!
Love ya, Julie
Julie: Thank you! He is and I am :). This was such a loooooooong winter :(. Everyone is so busy during spring and fall, people don't have time for each other in our society anymore. I myself don't have time to stay in touch with people, so I have started to feel more and more isolated. Being lonely makes me depressed, I used to have loads of friends, most of them have disappeared now. If there was another adult to share things with at home it would be different, but my mother is wrapped up in her illness and is hard of hearing, so conversations with her are only short.do you have your own blog now? Would love to be able to read! love U!
No blog for me! I think it would feel like work to me rather then something enjoyable to do. I love reading yours and just reading in general.
I know it hard to take the time to be with friends. I work in a bank a couple of days a week so that is always a social time. My conversations with my husband are usually about kids and bills and what needs to be fixed. I don't know how often we talk about anything else these days.
Is your mom back home now? It would be nice if she was able to keep up with conversation and just be someone to talk over ideas with. I know my mom was hard to talk to. Her hearing wasn't good either and she always seemed to be on another topic somehow...but i do miss her. Hopefully, you will find some time for you soon!! (If not just try to make some)
Will you and D be traveling this summer? Do the schools there have the summer season off? How often does he go now?
Take care! I'm wishing some sunshine your way to help fight the blues! JUlie
Thank you Julie!!! My mom will probably stay in hospital until Tuesday, when they want to make more tests. They said she could come home for the day, but I'm a bit reluctant to do that, since I feel this is now my time off as well. D and I are planning to take a cruise to Stockholm in the summer (while Alena is here, but visiting friends in Helsinki), in July he is a lot with his father and I'll again go on qigong-camp for three days. Schools here have 2,5 months off, but since D is in daycare, he'll only have about two months off :). For the past months he's been almost every day, but I try to let him stay home at least one day per week, if I don't have too much work. At the beginning of the year,when I had less work, he was 12 days per month. I think the sun has now managed to make me a bit happier - and my workload is also getting easier now, heading towards holidays, yippiee! Big hug!
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