The garden etc

It's amazing how much things change in a month!!!

Because of the flu, I haven't been able to do much in the garden, even if it has been the highseason for that kind of work. Everything is exploding to life - I'm still amazed how fast everything happens. After the loads of snow we had, I thought it won't melt until June - and now it's almost summer! On Saturday I finally felt the flu was gone, but I had already promised D we'd go see a movie - Rio (great in 3 D :). Unfortunately it was in the daytime, but we went shopping for new shoes for D and visited grandma at the same time. But on Sunday we had all day in the garden :):) - D mostly lay in the swing down left in the lower photo, while I was trying to do all at once :). The "metal"roof on the rabbits' cage had blown off into the dry bushes - those are now gone. I think the garden looks at its greatest right now - filled with tulips and spring flowers and the weeds haven't taken over yet (which they unfortunatley do every summer :(. Unfortunately I seem to have a tear in the dam - the water just sips out in three days (about one forth stays at the bottom), I don't know what to do, don't have the energy to do anything about it. Last spring was the same, but then suddenly the water stayed - I'm hoping for that same miracle now as well.

I was lucky not to have very much work while I was ill, even if I constantly feel I should be writing my own texts when I'm at home, but my head simply wasn't clear enough. Now I'll have work with one of the refugee children, a few really important meetings in the next few weeks - and I really hope to get around to writing as well.

My mother is still in the geriatric ward and I'm slowly accepting the fact that she might not be able to live at home anymore, her body is too weak, she needs constantly help to get out of bed. Right now her heart is again working badly - her ancles are swollen (and fluid gets into the lungs as well) and she has gotten intense medication over the weekend to get rid of it. Now we'll have to see for a few days if her heart can cope on its own, if yes, I'll try to bring her home.

It's hard to adjust - I'm both afraid and relieved, all in a bundle. Economically it'll be harder to be solely responsible for all the costs connected to a detached house. I'm sad for both my mother and my son, who I'd really like to give more time together - it's not the same to go see grandma in a room with three other old ladies and neither for her. Of course, we might be able to take her home for the day every now and then, but it'll be strange to have her only as a visitor. At the same time I'm relieved - I have much more freedom when I don't need to take her needs every day into consideration - D and I can eat elsewhere, go for an excursion quite ex tempore, I can focus on him. My role has been to care for my mother since 2003 when I moved home (but not until 2009 more extensively) - I'll lose a bit of my identity if she isn't at home anymore!