lördag 13 januari 2007

Nights are for sleeping

(på svenska utförligare i nästa inlägg..) Last night I began deprogramming D's stomach - no more nice, warm milk in the night. For me personally the night was not that different from other nights, but little D had been moved away from beside me in the bed to the pram, and all he got was a bit of water when he woke up. Twice I had to lift him up, at 11 pm and half past four, since he was crying so hard, but all went surprisingly well. I'm just hoping I myself will be able to sleep better in the coming nights, I was too nervous about how the night was going to be, to be able to really relax. And, have to admit, I felt a bit of a pang - this was a milestone, the closeness of breastfeeding him in the middle of the dark, quiet night is now a thing of the past. But it was time, the nights have been so irregular lately, some nights he has slept for three or four hours at a time, but other nights he has woken up almost every hour, and that has really made me feel like a zombie. I know I still need to work on his sleep for a few nights, then hopefully we can both start sleeping long nights. Can't wait!

2 kommentarer:

SaunaMatti sa...

Hej! You have a really nice Blog! Although I do not understand very much Swedish, I can make out some of what is being conveyed. Be patient is all that I can suggest. When D grows a bit more things will calm down for you. I know how hard it must be for you. I still remember the night feedings with my two boys. I would get up and feed with milk T had pumped and frozen in the freezer. So without this mutual parenthood I can only imagine the strife you are going through. Chin up it DOES and WILL get better. Then all of a sudden you will be looking at photos and thinking where had all the time gone. Embrace the moments you have now, as you have written about the milestone and the peck on the cheek, for those will remain good memories! D is very fortunate to have a loving and caring mother in you. Being a child of a broken home myself, I can only tell you how important it is to have this kind of relationship. It is tough on you. Keep a postive attitude and do the best you can for D. In the long run it will be most rewarding.
By the way, I didn't know your birthday was on the last day of the year. Happy belated birthday! Warm wishes, Matti

Jemayá sa...

Thanks Matt for your kind words! I guess I'm being overprotective of D as well, because of this situation. But my mother has also been such a gem - D has two loving people around him everyday. I want to try to make all things as smooth as possible for him. On the other hand, life isn't like that.t I guess there is no avoiding personal obstacles, everyone has to face them, and a mother can't protect then, and shouldn't either, but I hope I will be there as support once that time comes. But when he still is a baby, I think it's up to me to protect him from feelings of abandonment and fear as far as possible - even if that means falling out with some people.... Now I just need to "fix" the nights, so that I'll have the strenght to take better care of us all - myself included!